Calm your tits!


I’ve finally set aside some time from my busy schedule of cavorting around town with beautiful women to write a blog about Arsenal. I know you’ve missed my sweet words washing over you like a tide of literary magic, so here it goes.

As you may know from my twitter (it’s @afc_cameron if you don’t already follow…bitch) I am generally positive when it comes to Arsenal. I would go as far as saying that I blindly defend the club like a mother wombat does her young. Sidenote: I don’t know anything about the maternal instincts of wombats. When others (**TIM PAYTON**) seem to enjoy throwing the club under the bus, I always look for the silver lining.

The transfer window sucks. It’s always great to bring in new players and it sucks to lose players, but the effect it has on our supporters suck major balls. You can’t get online without seeing all sorts of blogs condemning our transfer policies or bashing Arsene. My message to everybody is this: calm your tits. Life is too damn short to obsess over transfer speculation. Go out and plant a tree or hug an old person, don’t spend all your time refreshing twitter to see if a rumored deal is official or confirmed yet. I love Arsenal. It’s basically the sun in the universe of my life. That doesn’t mean that you have to become a cutthroat web assassin verbally abusing people on twitter. Calm your tits.

This season has started kind of wheezy, but how f***ing good is Santi Cazorla? The dude is a 7th year at Hogwarts and has magic in his feet. I’ve seen a lot of tweets like “I don’t know where the goals are going to come from.” I think it’s safe to say that Santi will create opportunities. Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy every Arsenal match to the fullest and don’t stress yourself too much. There will be wins, losses, and draws, but don’t forget to calm your tits.

Yours truly,
Cameron „Giroud’s Fanboy“ Stewart